a_lone_mirage: (Default)
Why is facing a fear so terrifying?  I don't even know why I have this particular fear just that I have avoided dealing with it for years and now next week I will be facing it and hopefully conquering it.

Moving on is so slow I wish the process was instant but it's going to take until july to really get anywhere.  I just have to be paitient and calm and strong willed.

I've been working a lot and they seem to have a lot of shifts to fill so that is one thing I'm good with.
I've been wanting to cut my hair for the last year into a pixie like cut but instead I colour it and now have to wait for it to grow so that I can tell the hairdresser to just cut and style it no colouring at all.
I'm so over colouring my hair It just has to grow another 3 inches but for some reason it's growing really slowly.

It feels weird having no concerts to go to because soundwave was cancelled.  I heard Bring me the horizon are going to tour but I'm not comfortable going to their show even though I love their music.
No one else has annouced a tour yet it's weird.

How do people walk around with such dertermination in them? I feel like I'm going to explode into a fireball.
a_lone_mirage: (hulk scream)
I love mind mapping I've been doing it for years it really clears all the cobwebs out of my head when I'm confused.  I usually write all mine.

One of the things I like the idea of doing is cutting up magazines and pasting words+pictures on a black piece of paper.  It can be about anything but whatever you choose it will speak firmly to who you are as you choose each image and word.

The only problem for me is I hate destroying books, even magazines or newspapers.  Seeing printed writing to me is almost sacred.  In college I would never write in textbooks I even had real trouble highlighting things. I used post-its that way nothing was damaged.

So today I got all my old magazines and am sitting here trying to decide which images and words to use cause once you cut you can't go back and often the other side of what you want has really good info on it too.

OMG the anxiety it's stupid I know it is but that doesn't make it any less true that I am ripping into someones work and it's that making me feel slightly horrible.
a_lone_mirage: (Taylor Swift Red)
This good mood stayed all day.  Rare.  I spent most of the day researching business and creating a pinboard on Pinterest for my dream office.  I've never been able to visualise it but I can see it so clearly now right down to the pens I'm going to use.  It's fantastic it makes me excited.  

Tomorrow my goals include looking at business loans and government support for small business owners.  Years ago I went to a place in the city that helps people with researching every aspect of setting up a business from ABNs to business cards to geographic mapping to see where your business would be most needed.  They had everything all in one place.  If I have tomorrow off I might go see if I can find it.  

I'm not going to talk to anyone in my family about this because every time I do they make feel like shit.  My sister would be perfect to talk to as she owns her own business but for some reason she doesn't believe in me.  None of them do.  

She is obsessed with Amway right now and keeps asking me if I know anyone that would be interested but I don't have any friends and I really don't talk to people.  I couldn't give a shit about sales.  

Anyway I hope this good mood and my clear-headedness lasts.  

I can suceed I have just to get out of my own way and believe.


a_lone_mirage: (Default)

August 2017

  1 2345
20 212223242526


RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 23rd, 2017 02:44 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios